Sometimes when you clean out old files you can discover some real gems – like this clipping, all about cows:

“A cow is a completely automatic milk manufacturing machine. It is encased in untanned leather and mounted on four vertical, movable supports, one on each comer. The front end contains the cutting and grinding mechanism, as well as headlights, air inlet and exhaust, a bumper and a foghorn. At the rear are the dispensing apparatus and an automatic fly swatter. The central portion houses a hydrochemical conversion plant.

This consists of four fermentation and storage tanks, connected in series by an intricate network of flexible plumbing. This section also contains the heating plant, complete with automatic temperature controls, pumping station and main ventilating system. The waste disposal apparatus is located at the rear of this central portion. In brief, the external visible features are two lookers, two hookers, four stander-uppers, four hanger-downers, and a swishy – wishy.

With all that equipment, you’d think a cow would bring a little more money.”

So, when is a cow a cow? When communicators write to convey a message, and not to impress!