Nastiness gets you Nowhere

Nastiness gets you Nowhere.

Last year July an overseas client of mine reported me to my email service provider for sending her a newsletter she regarded as spam.

They subsequently cancelled my subscription and kicked me off. I then approached the lady who said she forgot about me, and she wrote to the service provider but they refused to reinstate me, stating than a complaint is a complaint.

Now I have had a few of those over the past 16 years where my newsletter was reported to the abuse section of my provider, especially where people have forgotten signing up in the first place.

Now I regard that as nasty. With an unsubscription facility, surely if you do not make use of that, why just report me? Why not send me an e-mail requesting removal? I am not a spammer. I am trying to share and assist.

My newsletter is read by more than 10000 readers worldwide. Why not build relationships, than just report. In Communication studies we are taught to consider our audience. Do you ever consider who is on the other side of an e-mail?

Nastiness gets you Nowhere!

Who knows who you will meet again in your journey? Maybe you will need me one day. I have put all those complaints and nasty mails in a file. I flagged them. Maybe one day you will send me a mail inadvertently.

As they say revenge is sweet but a meal best served cold. Maybe one day I will respond in turn, if I chose to do so.

I am not like that. I use my finger – the delete button. I unsubscribe. I send a mail stating I am not interested in the contents.

But I do not just complain to the authorities.

If my neighbour makes too much noise I speak to him or her. I am in the business of building relationships. In fact every time I have function at my home I inform all my neighbours. In 16 years I have had no complaints.


Because I consult before the time. I give them an avenue to complain. I engage.

I do not engage or entertain impersonal complaints.

Perhaps this post will make you think. There are many ways to achieve the same objective. Niceness is one of them.

As Ghandi said many years ago: “You cannot shake hands with a closed fist”.